I had a full blown case of red, itchy hives my first day of High School. Twenty-five (plus!) years later, the memory of that moment lingers long and sneaks up on me every now and again. It taught me a lot about how to suck it up and get through a tough situation, and that only rarely is anything as bad as we think it will be. We are often our own worst enemies when facing change or uncertainty.
I watched pruriently as the parade of young neighbor families did the end-of-summer shuffle down the street to the bus stops this morning: proud parents with leashed dogs accompanied their little ones back into their school year routines, pausing to ply an iPhone-captured “SMILE!” out of a backpacked child in new shoes.
Some kids surely were eager to return to learning and their friends, others were likely anxious about going off to new schools where they don’t know anyone. I reflected on the helicopter parents whose nerves (“Will they have fun? Will the other kids be nice to them? Will there be a meltdown?”) are likely just as frayed as the kids’. Change is hard. Finding your way in something new or different is never as much fun as the carefree slip-n-slide and popsicle-filled days of summer.
It’s a great metaphor for life, the back-to-school ritual. Whether you’re excited or petrified, whether it’s sunny or rainy, whether you have shiny new shoes or a scratchy uniform, whether you were in hysterical tears or sleepless from excited energy the night before, you must plow forward. Life lives in one direction. The day comes on the calendar and you walk into the new year and everything it holds. You say a little prayer that all that has come before has prepared you, and you go forth and do your very best with what you have, where you are. Because that’s the greatest gift we receive in life: an open invitation to go forward and DO SOMETHING with ourselves.
Kids, parents, anyone starting ‘something new’ today: the butterflies in your stomach are natural and powerful. Don’t shy away from them – lean in and pay attention to them. They can work for you if you let them: learn to harness them, they will teach you to fly.
(Attributions & Appreciations: this blog was inspired in part by Jonathan Fields‘ book Uncertainty & Marty Whitmore’s illustration, “Riding the Butterflies” which will be hung in my office shortly, when painting is complete! This article is a great recap of some of the lessons in the book, which was a KaneCo BookClub reading this year.)
My little one was thrilled to be off on her new adventure this morning. Her fearlessness was a joy to watch and a wonder to behold. She teaches me far more than I ever teach her, living in one direction and never looking back.
I find that after 30 some odd years I am only beginning to harness them. Even more challenging is to teach that to my daughter when I myself am just learning.
The beauty of these two comments together is that it’s a good reminder that, regardless of age, we ALL have things we can teach each other…
Especially in moments of anxiety, I try to remind myself that most of the ugliness in the world has its’ root in fear: fear of “others,” for example. Where I can suppress my fears, I can make room to allow beautiful things to grow. It’s a little thing, but an important one.